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Ambient Dialogue

The Black Emporium

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Recruited magesRecruited templars
Xenon the Antiquarian: I hear the red templars are trying to find this place. Not if I can help it! (Cackles.) They’d just break everything.Xenon the Antiquarian: We had a visitor the other day. Turned out to be a Venatori! We fed him to the monster under the floorboards. He made a delightful crunching noise. Are they all like that?

Xenon the Antiquarian: Where is the urchin? I require the services of the urchin!

Xenon the Antiquarian: Help yourself to a sock from the basket. But only one!

Xenon the Antiquarian: Handle the mirror with care. It has been known to bite.

Xenon the Antiquarian: Urchin? Bring me a moist towelette!

Xenon the Antiquarian: I have quite an extensive library on the history of forbidden magic. It’s back there. Somewhere. I… think. I haven’t been able to turn my head to look for two centuries.

Xenon the Antiquarian: Where is my backscratcher?

Xenon the Antiquarian: Send my regards to the lady ambassador. Her ancestor visited the Emporium in the Blessed Age. I sold her a candle mounted within the severed hand of a first acolyte of Razikale. I wonder… do the Montilyets still have it in their possession? I should like to see it again.

Xenon the Antiquarian: Handle the merchandise with care!

Xenon the Antiquarian: Watch your step. We received a shipment of invisible nugs the other day.

Xenon the Antiquarian: Everything is for sale! Except the rejuvenating oils. Those are for my personal use.

Xenon the Antiquarian: You may pet the tiny bear, but be gentle. A magister miniaturized him specially at great cost. He answers to “Chauncey.”

Xenon the Antiquarian: Would you consider allowing me to acquire your hand? After your death, of course.

Xenon the Antiquarian: Do not antagonize Chauncey, the tiny bear. He may be small, but he nips.


After using the mirror:

  • Xenon the Antiquarian: You went with that?
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: Well, I’m obviously in no position to judge.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: I liked your old nose better.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: No accounting for taste.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: At least no one will point and laugh.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: (Manic cackling.)
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: (Grunts.)

After making a purchase:

  • Xenon the Antiquarian: The Black Emporium shall not be held liable for death, demonic possession, or hives resulting from improper use of the product.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: More Inquisition gold to have sensually pressed against my desiccated flesh! Joking.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: Thank you for your patronage.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: I would throw in a free pickled apple, but the urchin ate them all.
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: Enjoy your purchase!
  • Xenon the Antiquarian: Long live the Inquisition.